It would be nice, a world where you don't have to betray your companions, to carry on living. Unfortunately, even if it exists, it isn't this world. You don't make headway in the Sprawl by keeping your hands clean: that is a luxury reserved for philosophers, or madmen. You were offered so much money you forgot about your worries for years. Bah! No sense in digging up the past. Unless it's the past itself who decides to drop by on its own.